In this crazy world nothing makes sense except that we ran into each other. Before this world falls apart I’m glad I met you and that when we are together, we made sense to each other. Sometimes you still forget and don’t believe in me, but I’ll live  with that for now. It’s always madness with you but it feels so serene when you just let yourself dream with me. I want to keep you in my arms until I’m just ashes in the wind. Perhaps I scare you because of how certain I am for you. Don’t be afraid of me. Don’t doubt me. Don’t wish me happiness when you know I’m too crazy for that normal life. Don’t make up some imaginary future for me when I fight for you each present moment. Say I’m selfish instead for craving you. Call me mad for rather being alone than sleep next to some nameless face that is not you. I will use time to prove to you what you mean to me because words are not heavy enough. 

This life is short because forever is not enough for us. In this lifetime I hope that we have left marks on each other like tattoos that last forever. One day you will see what I see – that in front of me there is only you and no other – that it will always be you. I don’t care if you might give up on me. I don’t care if you forget me. I will stand in front of you again and ask you to run away with me. I will go in front of you again and make you remember why you love me. Until then, I will keep the spot next to my heart vacant for you. There is no one who can make your heart beat like I can. There is no one who can make me tremble like you can. Just like how you are sitting in front of me now, I will stand I front of you one day and ask you to come with me. 

Dare to jump. Dare to dream. Dare to love. Maybe a new life, maybe a new adventure,  or maybe it’s safety your soul desires. Whatever it was, open up to the person who breaks you open naked with him and expands you in ways you always wanted,  always knew you could, but was always afraid to. Playing it safe, following people who tell you to choose the life that makes the most sense is just a trick to tame you who has a wild heart as passionate as mine.

I tell myself I am scared that you’ll give me reason to stay.

The only true thing right here right now is me and you. Hold my hand,  lock your fingers with mine, hold me tight and go out there into that cold world, walk on rocks that hurt your feet and sparkle like beautiful miracles in the midnight rain. Fall in love with the wrong person at the right time or the right person at the wrong time. Fall in love with me, stay with me, laugh with me until your stomach hurts,  say Yes to me.

Replace your life’s ticking clock and those scary insecure feelings with the beating of your own heart. Don’t cry alone. Don’t cry in dark. If you need a shoulder to cry on, rest your head on my chest,  listen to my heart and I’ll absorb all your tears. No one has ever regretted feeling alive. I promise you that you will always feel alive with me. I promise you that you will always feel like you can live forever when  you are with me. I can’t promise you the world,  but I can promise you that you will be my world.

I’m happy with you. I really am. 

I chose you to be the love of my life. I chose to be next to you. I will always choose you across all lifetimes not just the ones from our past lives without caring how long this red string of fate stretches us apart. I promise you I will chase you each day you are next to me. I promise that I will wait for you when you are half way across the world. I promise you that I will create a different smile on your lips every day if you came back to me. Live passionately with me, be who you really are, and burn bright as we wrap ourselves together lined up as candles ready to explode like fireworks.

People always desire fairytale beginnings and happily ever afters, not willing to acknowledge that much of that initial spark, that moment of first love is a projection of our hopes and desires all pulverized into stardust and blinds us for those moments. We go through meeting each soul in life hoping that they are the one that can be by our side and let us live a normal life like everyone else. But true love is that one that lasts through all the trials and errors. It’s not the one that makes us feel better than everyone else. It’s not the one that makes us fall the hardest nor the one that makes us feel like everything all of a sudden makes sense. It’s the one that is left behind after all the hurt and pain from all the fireworks. It’s the one that feels like fire in every form -like lovers, like family, like friends, like lost souls who forgot each other from a long time ago.

True love is the one that you can’t measure with any meter stick or unit of time. Not years, not months, not minutes. I always had you come with me so I can show you something different. We are totally different creatures because we are completely on different sides of the puzzle. I’m sorry you can never quantify my feelings for you with time or money because I have neither. I am counting every second of happiness I have left with you and I only have dollars compared to your millions. The true magic is that even though the photo –the puzzle we form is wild and crazy -all our pieces fit together perfectly.

We only exist in this moment, but I want to distort it and stretch it until infinity.

I want forever with you because seconds are not enough.

The true magic lies behind the fact that I chose you regardless of your complicated life and hardships we had to go through to get here. The real magic is that its you are the one I commit to even though hundreds of other people touched my heartstrings. It is you that matters the most above all others because of the time I dedicated to dreaming about us, to want us, to cry for us, to protect us, to cherish us. I look at you and see how amazing we are together and I whisper your name every morning hoping to wake you up so you can be as excited as I am that we are together every moment we have left.

I can promise you that I’m committing every piece of my broken soul to you for as long as we have together. All we ever had was the present moment anyways. All we ever had was right now.

You are my true love not because you were ever meant for me. Not because our existence was made for each other. Not because the strings of our past lives were intertwined. Not because we will have a fairytale ending or even end up together forever. But because in this lifetime, I choose you to be so.

I want us to burn these moments into memories forever. All we ever had was one chance in one lifetime. I took all the love that exists in me and in this world and gave it to you and it’s gone forever and will only burn in your memories. I trace your slender fingers with my hands and gaze into your eyes so that even if you left me I’ll remember your every touch, every scent, every quiver of your lips.

You don’t want to have to care about hurting me. You don’t want to be forced to watch me cry. You rather foolishly use every last amount of courage you have left to believe I don’t love you enough and that Fate is justified to tear us apart.

I want to feel your warmth when the world gets too cold because I know I haven’t been able to find it anywhere else for the past ten years. I’ve held on to you selfishly this long because I know you’ll always be there for me no matter what I do. I held on to him this long because I know he’ll also be there waiting for me no matter what I do. I am not strong enough right now so I’ll go back to the home I used to know hoping that I’m still the same person I left behind two years ago. I want it all, but I’m scared to admit it. I rather just stop seeing you than face myself.

It wasn’t because you are you, it was because you somehow managed to have room in your life for me to be all of me too. I will never regret you. You always made me wild for you. You always made me crave life with you like no one has had before. I want every inch of hurt I can get with you. I want that intoxicating happiness when we are in each other’s arms. I chose you to be my true love even if it’s a losing card game, even if I gamble and lose it all. I choose you because all the passion and love I have for you gave me to strength to do so. The magic is the fact that I can choose you to be my true love even if the world turns against us -even if Fate turns against me. No one can do anything about it -Fate cannot stop me from caring about you or loving you the most.

I want this lifetime with you or I want nothing at all. I want to love you more than I have loved everyone before because I have the freedom to choose. And I will choose you over and over until I’m nothing but pile of bones and forgotten ashes. I don’t need us to have a fairytale ending. I don’t need you to be here for me to love you until eternity ends. No one can stop me from tattooing our foolishness into my heart until I die because I chose to love you beyond forever …because even forever is not enough.